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If you think she’s playing games to “catch” you, then nothing I can do will convince you.But if you had a great connection with a confident woman who told you that she doesn’t like the idea of you going home to write to other women online after you have sex, you would insist to her that you DO have the right to do that?People who were irked by the concept that women should make men invest more before having sex are still probably going to be irked – but at least I’ll know that I gave it my best shot to illustrate my arguments effectively. Again, I’m not remotely judgmental of those who have sex without commitment; I will only point out as a dating coach that it tends to lead to sub-optimal results from men because they didn’t have to do anything special to get into bed with you.”I can’t see anything about which one can argue. 🙂Below are some of the comments I received (in italics), along with my responses.“What about having sex for the sheer joy of it without any agenda and expectation? If you can have sex for the sheer joy of it without any agenda and expectation, then my advice to hold out for a commitment should be completely irrelevant. As irrelevant as me wondering how often I should get a mammogram. If advice doesn’t apply to you, then you can absolutely ignore it.What you can’t do is argue with advice that is not intended for you.You think you have to discover this BEFORE you have a commitment…but isn’t the whole point of dating to continue to discover things to assess whether you can spend your life with a person? I’m saying that you can engage in lots of serious foreplay before having sex, give an exclusive relationship a shot, and if it doesn’t work for ANY reason, you have the right to break up, one months, two months, three months down the line.In that regard, sex is no different than learning that he’s got anger issues or is a bad communicator.So it’s not about a number of dates or months: it’s about assessing his intention: does this guy really like you enough to commit or does he just want to have sex with you?
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Because, you’re right: a guy can “wait you out” for 7 arbitrary dates, fuck you, and then bail.