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But, while it might not be an easy road, if you want the reward (finding love again), you have to be wiling to take the risk of getting hurt again, too.
If you’re recently single and need a little guidance before getting back out there, here are nine expert tips for dating after a bad breakup.
“The best thing people can do when they start dating again is to really lean into the awesomeness of who they are and then show their truest self to their dates,” Bergman says.
“Tune into what you desire and how you will function best. Quiet your fears and listen to your heart.” At the end of the day, listening to your heart and trusting your gut is all you can do when dating.
“You may have unrealistic expectations as to what you want in a partner or how long it may take to find someone you want to date,” Davida Rappaport, speaker, spiritual counselor, and dating expert, tells Bustle. “Avoid talking about your ex-partner on dates or tell[ing] your dates how much you have been hurt or the reason you broke up with your ex,” Rappaport says.
“Be open to having hobbies, making new friends, and NOT focusing solely on dating,” Stef Safran, Chicago-based matchmaker at Stef and the City, tells Bustle.Discussing past relationships are not necessary unless you begin to consider starting a relationship with someone.” The number one rule for dating after a breakup?Be unabashedly yourself on dates — because you’re never going to find your true match if you’re not being authentic.“The biggest hurdle I’ve seen people face when dating after a breakup is not comparing the people they’re seeing to their ex,” Heather Ebert, dating expert at dating site What’s Your Price, tells Bustle.“It’s a huge ‘don’t’ that for some reason is an extremely common and hard to break habit that humans have.
When you’ve just been through a difficult breakup, it’s understandable that you might not necessarily be jazzed about the prospect of starting all over again.