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I am uninterested in going to Fetlife munch's because of some social anxiety, but that seems the only way to maybe meet someone. There are not huge numbers of people and it is a long process to find the right people.
However, most kinky people have to get out to events. There are also some big kink events that are great if you can afford to travel.
Some I can recommend are those run by Dark Odyssey and Frolicon.
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