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Posted by / 01-Dec-2020 18:56

It's kind of old-fashioned, but that's what I liked about it.

Julie and I met over coffee and had a lengthy interview.

Julie's standard process is to decide whether she will put your name forward to male clients meeting with you.

And the fact that clients have to pay bodes well; it means they are serious about meeting someone. If online dating has underscored anything, it's that we're maybe too much of an aesthetically-driven society. My second date came six months later, in July of last year—certainly a longer time to wait than if you're using an app. But ultimately I decided that dating isn't necessarily ordering a person out of a catalogue. We didn't make immediate plans—I wanted things to percolate.

The matchmaker's rules are also very clear: She gives your contact information to the guy and it's up to him to make the first move and connect. Interestingly, you don't see photos of prospective dates before meeting in person. Swiping left and right based on a picture means, of course, you're missing out on the surprises—the people you may not have a knee-jerk physical reaction to but are more of a slow burn. But I knew I was signing up for a slower-moving (and ideally more effective) process. Life, and finding a true partnership, doesn't work that way. We texted a few times, and then he asked me out again. Now, we're a couple, taking things at a reasonable pace.

(A little regressive, maybe, but hey, I said it was old-school.) So you're also paying for this golden guarantee: The guy's getting your number and he's going to call you. With traditional matchmaking, the objective is the very opposite of online dating: It's *not* to make a decision about a potential partner before meeting. I let Julie know that he was very nice, but he wasn't a match. Even though we're happy, I waited a little while to tell my friends that I'd met my new boyfriend through a traditional matchmaker. When I ultimately did share how we met, they weren't shocked.

I went on my first date within few weeks of signing up. The landscape of dating has become so radicalized, so open to different apps and experiences, that no one is surprised by anything anymore.

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She agreed to work with me, but she didn't make any promises.

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